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Kimberly Grace's avatar

I like the premise a lot. I do wish the mystery boy would have interacted a little more with Indie in a way that created a little more tension to start the story, but maybe that’s coming in part 2. I have to say the part about the Cowboys crushing the Eagles hurt me a little inside. I’m from the Philly area, so you got that part reversed. 😉

Stephen B. Anthony's avatar

Just starting this. Hudson half indifferent to her. Typical high school boy interested in what they are interested in. Reminds me of auditioning for Oklahoma! at the university when I was 19. Really great way to drop descriptions into the text. Very smooth. Also, I'm sensing some financial constraints in the household, so well done with that. Good start!

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